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Swan Song: Goldie

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Goldie (Credit: Chelone Wolf)
The drum 'n' bass icon ponders the Pearly Gates...

How would you spend your last day alive? Goldie will be eating a roast in Thailand...

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Where would you like to wake up?

Thailand. In my bed, hopefully.

What would you like to achieve on your last day?

A really good bowel movement.

You host a Last Supper - who’s coming?

Any of my close still friends that are still alive. I think when you get to that age you don’t really think about famous friends, do you?

What’s on the menu?

Bacon, eggs and mushrooms in the morning with tinned tomatoes. Followed by a lovely roast dinner: roast beef, Yorkshire puddings, goose fat potatoes, I’m afraid. Some nice peas and carrots. Creme brûlée for dessert. 

What would be your biggest regret?

I won’t have any regrets by that time. I’m sure when you get to be an old man, you’ve lived enough, and you won’t have any regrets by that point. 

What would be your deathbed confession?

That I wanked daily. 

How would you like to die?

I’d like to be hung, drawn and quartered. Obviously not…! Peacefully in my bed, thank you.

Who would you like to meet at the Pearly Gates of Heaven?

The Dalai Lama. 

Describe your vision of Heaven.

The scene of a Starsky And Hutch movie, hopefully.

If you could be resurrected the next day, what would you come back as?

I’ll come back as Mick Jagger’s left bollock. Or Danger Mouse. No, Rumi the poet.

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Goldie’s new album ‘The Journey Man’ is out now on Metalheadz/Cooking Vinyl.

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